


Basorexia

by evakuality



Category: Druck | SKAM (Germany)
Genre: Canon Compliant, M/M, Originally Posted on Tumblr, Pining, Tumblr Prompt, minor appearances by other characters - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-28
Updated: 2020-04-28
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:34:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23898328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/evakuality/pseuds/evakuality
Summary: It happens more often than it probably should, the desire to just grab Matteo, haul him in and kiss him senseless.  It’s something of a problem, if David is honest with himself.  Not that he likes to be.  Honest, that is.  Because the deeply sensible part of him says that he should stay aloof, hold himself apart and stay the fuck away from this boy.  But that part of him has always been a little bit of a helpless romantic, and it thrilled to whatever it sensed in Matteo and allowed the much more reckless part to emerge.Or the one where David is overcome by the overwhelming desire to kiss Matteo and has to deal with what that means.
Relationships: Matteo Florenzi/David (Druck)
Comments: 18
Kudos: 87





	Basorexia

It happens more often than it probably should, the desire to just grab Matteo, haul him in and kiss him senseless. It’s something of a problem, if David is honest with himself. Not that he likes to be. Honest, that is. Because the deeply sensible part of him says that he should stay aloof, hold himself apart and stay the fuck away from this boy. But that part of him has always been a little bit of a helpless romantic, and it thrilled to whatever it sensed in Matteo and allowed the much more reckless part to emerge. The part that really does want to kiss Matteo, and doesn’t much care about the parts that have a degree of self preservation.

The first time it had happened, that urge to pull Matteo in and kiss him, David had been taken aback and it had made him tetchy and aloof. Matteo had invited him to smoke with him rather than going into the room where all the Abi prank planning was going on. His excuse had been terrible. Something about holding hands and “if you’re into that,” with a heavy suggestion that being ‘into that’ was not a good thing, and David had been captivated by the surety in his voice. Not to mention that this was the boy who’d knocked him off kilter just a few days earlier by doing nothing more than passing him in the hallway. David should have known then that he was playing a dangerous game. But no. He’d had to go and fall into those eyes and follow Matteo like the already-besotted little idiot he was.

And then … well, then Matteo had the plain audacity to show a vulnerable side. He’d leaned his head against the wall and sighed as he blew smoke out and shared some of the things that seemed to matter most to him. That’s when the damn feeling had swept over David, pummeling him over and over and around and around and he’d  _ wanted. _ Wanted to touch, wanted to hold, wanted to kiss and kiss and kiss. So he’d pulled himself back, tried to push the overwhelming feelings away, but it hadn’t worked and he’d unfortunately ended up falling deeper and deeper into this thing he was feeling. Then she’d come along. Sara. And she’d kissed Matteo, just a small one, gentle and a little possessive. And David had been consumed with jealousy. Because he’d wanted that. He’d wanted to do the kissing.

That should have been the end of it. David should have known to stay the fuck away just like he’d already told himself. But he couldn’t. Matteo wouldn’t let him; Matteo had turned up in David’s orbit far too often for him to be able to listen to his rational side. And every time they met, that feeling had welled up again. The urge to kiss and kiss and never let go. In corridor after corridor. On a bus. At various points all over the school. And no matter how much David had told himself he should stay away, no matter how often he’d claimed that all he wanted was a couple of friendships that lasted just long enough to get him through the rest of the year. No matter how much any of that had intruded, David could never make himself do what he had to do when Matteo was there. Not even Sara. One of the people who’d first befriended him. He couldn’t do this to her, shouldn’t do this to her. And yet, every time David had seen Matteo those feelings would sweep in again and take him over and there he’d been again, a helpless mess, putty in the hands of someone who didn’t even really know the power he had.

There were parts of David that had tried to keep him on the right track, that had tried to make him use his damn brain when he was in the same space as Matteo. Parts of him that had told him he should just avoid him if this was going to keep happening. But that was never easy, not when Matteo would approach him with that open, wide eyed look on his face. Not when Matteo was making it obvious that whatever had started happening meant something to him. Not when Matteo had said things like, “I’m having a party” and it had been clear that when he said David could come if he wanted to, he’d really meant he  _ wanted _ David to come. And David had never been able to deny him when he was right there in front of him. That had always been the curse of Matteo’s stupid vulnerable face and his fragility, of the way he’d looked when he’d opened to David and relaxed as they’d talked and made and ate revolting sandwiches. The way that had stuck in David’s mind and made him want even more than before.

So that all means he’s here, in Matteo’s own home, music thumping around him as he has his arm wrapped around Laura for support and his eyes are drifting towards Matteo more often than he ever really intends. In the middle of the party, Sara’s a messy drunk, bouncing from person to person with Leonie a grim, annoyed chaperone following her as she slops her way around the room. Matteo’s not near her, which makes very little sense to David when they’re supposedly together. He’s standing by the walls, looking awkward and ill at ease in his own home. And it takes all of David’s willpower to stay somewhere as far from Matteo as he can, to not go over and soothe that look off his face, because this isn’t the Matteo David remembers from a week ago and it feels wrong that he’s like this  _ here. _

Laura’s eyes are constantly on him, though, and her smile holds a hint of amusement as she watches David. It’s enough to enable him to keep his distance. Her knowing looks and pointed smirks are a small pinpoint in the evening, enough to ground David. Enough to keep him away from the one person he really wants to wrap himself up in, the person it’s becoming increasingly hard to stay away from because all David wants is to draw him into their own bubble again. The person he wants to drown in, to have the rights to kiss the way Sara had, small and quiet and possessive. The person he really should be resisting. 

But then Laura goes to talk to Matteo and David can see the small confusion on his face as he looks at her, and he has to tear his eyes away in case she’s saying something embarrassing. Because he knows all the stupid things he’s poured out to her over the last couple of weeks, and he knows the sort of things she could be saying in her usual direct way. Not that she would, surely. Not to someone she doesn’t know, not even to embarrass her brother. 

By the time David looks back, Matteo’s gone. Laura returns to his side, with just a small smirk and a, “he seems nice enough,” in response to David’s querying eyebrow. It’s infuriating. She’s infuriating. But worse is the loss of Matteo’s presence as the party winds its way to a close. Sara disappears, the guys David most often sees with Matteo yell some stuff through what must be his door, and then once they’re gone there’s no-one left. Just him and Laura and the guy who must be the flatmate.

Laura grins at David, saying she’s heading home now, and the flatmate offers to escort her down the stairs and point her in the direction of the right bus. They turn to David, but he can’t bring himself to leave. It’s stupid, the dumbest thing he could probably do, and yet he’s concerned. Matteo disappeared so quickly, and it disrupted all David’s plans for the evening, the things he wanted and the things he might have been able to convince himself to do. So he mutters something about wanting to tidy up, references the mess he’d left last time, and gets a very considering look from the flatmate. They both shrug, though, and he’s left alone in the kitchen, choosing to deal with whatever is going on in here rather than thinking about the much bigger mess that is the rest of the space. Besides, this keeps him out of Matteo’s way and as much as David wants to make something happen, wants to dive into the kiss he’s been thinking about for the last few weeks, he’s also still got a small amount of self preservation left, and that keeps him here safely away from the temptation of Matteo’s door.

He’s not sure what he’s even doing here. Matteo isn’t likely to emerge, the boys made that obvious when they left, and David wonders why the hell he’s doing this to himself. Why he’s letting the desire that swamps him have control of his actions like this. It’s the vulnerability, he thinks viciously as he shakes the leftover beer out of a couple of bottles. It’s the part of Matteo that calls to the same part of David, the one that won’t let him off the hook. It’s crept in under his skin and every time he sees it he can’t help but want to soothe it away. Kiss it away.  _ Basorexia, _ he thinks to himself irrelevantly, dragging a dim recognition of the word’s meaning out of his memory.  _ The overwhelming desire to kiss. _ The thing that’s getting him into trouble in this time when he was supposed to be keeping himself aloof and distanced.

There’s a soft rustle in the doorway and David turns to see Matteo standing there. And it’s there again, the vulnerability and the fragility. He seems surprised to see David here, but even as obviously tired as confused as he is Matteo still does something to David. He makes something twist uneasily in his stomach, he makes him  _ want _ again. The urge to kiss is rising, swamping every sensible thought in David’s head. He gets through some small banal small talk, and then Matteo is right there next to him. 

In the dim light his hair shines and the stripes on his cheeks add something to the overall impression, they soften the planes of his face, make him look younger, less sure of himself even than he has done recently. And there’s something in his eyes, something soft and lonely. Something that calls to the same lonely thing in David. And even though he knows this is stupid, even though he berates himself even while he does it, even though he’s sure this is the stupidest, scariest thing he ever could imagine … David thinks  _ fuck it. _ He wants to kiss, he wants to know what it’s like, he wants to stop pushing it down as if it’s something to be ashamed of. So he lets the feelings out finally, lets it all show on his face when he turns to Matteo and says a few words. A few words that tip him over into everything he’s feeling, a few words that let him  _ want _ for real. A few words that finally allow him to admit the building up of the desire to kiss and kiss and never let go.

“You look good today.”


End file.
